Kunming: Not as Pretty

Posted on 23 March 2008 by andyq

I’ve been lucky not to travel all year. The flurry of work trips at the end of 2007 were too much for me – I was sick many times, exhausted, and unsettled. So, being in one place has been great – an energy of normality, of consolidation. It allowed me to forget about travel all together for a while, which was good.

So, it’s nice, on my first overseas trip of 2008 to remember what I enjoy about it. The different routine and weirdness of time zones allows me to think about life in a different way, my escape from routine reminds me to do things I might not have done lately, it allows me, in that change of schedule, extra minutes in an hour.

So, I’m catching up on personal e-mails here on this trip to Kunming (with brief stopovers in Bangkok to and from), I’m writing my first entry here in a few weeks, I’m waking up early, unusual for me in Sydney – though of course, it’s not early at all for Sydney. Waking up at 6:30 here, the city still dark (they don’t seem to leave on many lights in the buildings), feels like a fun change – though it’s 9:30am in Sydney.

Friends asked me what Kunming was like, and from my two previous trips, I’d said “pretty.” A friend who’d been here looked at me, eyebrow raised and said, “are you kidding? perhaps I was in another place.” So arriving at the airport and driving to the hotel, my faulty memory becomes clear. My overnight escape to Lijiang on the last trip made the whole trip seem prettier – such a gorgeous little place. And the hotel is luxurious, my room has a big comfortable bed with a gorgeous comforter and good quality sheets, lovely Chinese furniture, and tasteful decor – and free highspeed internet access. The New Era Hotel is right in the centre of the city surrounded by shops, close to a large mall, and some reconstructed buildings made to look old. So, it’s urban and bustling and I’m fascinated by its commerce, what are people buying these days, how is it different from other parts of the world. My boyfriend, who prefers a quieter life and doesn’t like shopping all that much, would hate it.

So, it’s not pretty at all, really. It’s just that I associate pretty in my mind with things that I like, and what I like during my work trips are comfortable hotels, interesting shops, and easy access to good things to eat.

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Choices – BPF News or Apartment renovations?

Posted on 27 February 2008 by andyq

Ah, so many choices. I have a slight urge to post more photos of my ongoing apartment problems/renovations – but I think that can hold off. With some luck, the place is going to look amazing in a few weeks.

So I can report on the latest Bowling Pin Fire news. I’ve had two great profiles in two great magazines, Xtra West, my Vancouver hometown gay and lesbian newspaper, and in SX, Sydney’s gay and lesbian weekly magazine. They’re both great write-ups.

My launch was last week, at Gallery 4A, the Asian-Australian Arts centre. It was terrific and I hope to have photos up on my website in the near future – which, by the way, has been updated and has a terrific new front door.

About 50 folks came out for the launch, old friends, new friends. I was rather stressed about the catering but it was fine. I overcatered on the drink – but that doesn’t matter since I can use the wine myself later (note to self: 6pm on a Thursday night, folks don’t drink a lot… if anyone wants catering advice, e-mail me). The yum cha snacks were a success (particularly the prawn toast and tasty char siu triangles).

We sold a good number of books.

There were a few folks there who I had no idea who they were – through a poetry list invitation or through the gallery. I always think’s a bit weird, just hanging around, not buying a book… And I did say hello, and they said hello back, but I should have said, “how is it that you find yourself here?”

A friend, Paul, took some great, great photos, a million times better than I could have taken with my camera (or by giving it to someone else to take) – and friend and famous photographer William Yang came and took some photos which I hope to see someday too!

And the books are out in 3 stores in Sydney and 2 in Melbourne and 1 in Canberra, and a few copies are selling already.

It’s a strange phase at the moment though – I feel far away from Canada and the books, and have no idea whether any reviews will come in, whether my favourite Canadian shops are selling them (there have been a number of frustrating distribution problems), and whether the books that my friends report buying will add up to some sort of momentum. I really shouldn’t worry about it, though it’s hard not to do at this stage.

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Bowling Pin Fire – More Progress…

Posted on 27 January 2008 by andyq


It’s late January, Sydney summer, what a hot day. Tomorrow, Monday, is a holiday, since Australia Day was yesterday, and I’m winding down with a beautiful glass of white wine, Georgiana 2007, and am at my mac in front of a rather crazy new succulent that I bought from the Glebe Markets ages ago and only got to my apartment today.

As an amusing side, walking along Glebe Point Road, with this succulent (and I really need to take a photo of it), I got attention from people as if I was walking a small, adorable puppy. At least 3 people smiled and laughed and turned heads to look at it, the girl in the chocolate store (do not order the 3 liquid chocolate sampler, it’s too rich!) said “nice cactus”. Steve and I both noticed. It was strange. Perhaps I should take it for walks in Surry Hills too. With a collar and a leash.

I am also listening to a Smiths album which my pal Tim put on a CD probably months and months ago, and I never uploaded to my mac until tonight. 3 day weekends can be great for doing little things that you never got around to doing any other time.

So, enough context. I simply wanted to ramble about my new poetry book, Bowling Pin Fire, being out. I’ve now got it into 4 stores in Australia (in 2 cities) and will have an extra store and city this week hopefully. Friends are being awfully kind and two have already bought or said they want to buy copies for friends. I’ve found facebook an interesting way to promote it – somehow sending a message on facebook still has a personal feel to it, people don’t seem to feel like they’ve been spammed.

I cannot figure distribution at all. My friend in London who pre-ordered from Chapters hasn’t gotten her copy yet. A friend in Northern Ontario who hoped his bookshop would get it in before Christmas is also empty-handed. An acquaintance in the USA got his copy pretty much immediately, also ordering from Chapters, since Amazon, bizarrely, only lists one “used copy” for the bargain price of $80. American. So, I find it amusing that friends have managed to buy it in Australia before friends in Canada since to get it to Australia required 1/ shipping and 2/ Andy getting the books into bookstores.

I’ve only sent out 3 review copies here so have another dozen places to send them to. I wonder how our luck will be in Canada, where hard-working Ailise at Signature sent out, wow, it surprised (and pleased me) how many review copies went out. I’ve heard from a lovely woman who reviewed my book for Northern Poetry Review. So, that will be great to see in print – and I hope it’s up on the Internet as well. She engaged with the book and the poems in a way which reviewers have rarely done with my books. I’m grateful.

I’ve got an idea for where to have the book launch in Sydney, but don’t want to jinx it by mentioning it yet. Suffice to say, it won’t be at a nearby bar who wanted a minimum spend of $1200 in order to use their function room…

I am happy though, even though I have been getting caught up in the administration of it lately rather than the pride of having it published. It’s been a long journey – and to have the poems out into the world: a gift.

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Bowling Pin Fire and other progress

Posted on 16 November 2007 by andyq

So, Bowling Pin Fire is out in Canada. I can’t wait to see it. I’m hoping it’s winging its way through the air to me now.

http://www.signature-editions.com/xdbpf.htm

http://www.andyquan.com/books.htm

Trying to get moving on plans to help promote the book from afar, and get copies here to sell in Australia.

In the meantime, I had a review published lately in the Australian Book Review, which seems an august publication, and the progress on guest editing Corpus: Desire Between Men, Voces Mundiale is going well.

Just this update for now.

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Eternal Flame

Posted on 30 October 2007 by andyq

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?

Rumi is a short man, with a bit of a stomach and a lively expressive face, broad eyes and full lips.

Our meeting in Delhi, with about 15 others from South Asia, is going well: constructive conversation and positive outcomes. But he’s the one having the most fun.

Flamboyant behaviour is somewhat out of fashion in Sydney. Many gay men strive to be hypermasculine. A number of straight men are going for the stylish but strong metrosexual. Drag is on the wane. I have friends who play at being camp, and have much less contact with those who are camp all the time.

But Rumi is pretty much the real thing. Pluma, they say in Spanish. Feather. What a brightly coloured bird.

He dashed out at coffee break and came back ten minutes late. Another friend at the meeting tells me he suspects he’s gone up to his room for a quickie. I’ve learned to not act surprised.

He’s already had two so far at the hotel, you should have seen the last one. Thin, but strong. Siddarth curves his hand over the bicep of his other arm to indicate the shape.

And we’ve only been here two nights, I note.

Rumi rushes back into the room, and takes his seat. Siddharth calls out, Rumi, why do you look so energetic? Rumi scowls, and Rajan, who’s facilitating, picks up the queue.

Why do you look so energetic?

The meeting continues but Rumi can’t resist sidling up to Siddarth, whispering in Hindi, before returning to his seat.

Twenty minutes, two different men, Siddahrth relays to me, impressed.

How does he do it? I try to keep judgement and jealousy out of my voice, but I’m not sure I succeed.

Oh, you should have seen him at lunch. He tried to pick up one of the waiters there, but he didn’t seem interested. He just turns it on. As flamboyant as possible, the boys go wild.

The cultural context is beyond me. I don’t know if the men that he’s having sex with are gay or straight or unlabeled, whether women are unavailable to them so an easy gay offering is appealing, whether gay sex is difficult to access, whether the hotel trade is mostly made of gay staff, or whether Rumi is appealing in this culture, flaming or not, in a way that I can’t recognize from mine.

Whatever the case: good for him. Flame on, Rumi. Flame on.

Posted in Creative Non-Fiction, Gay Life | Leave a comment

Being Kind to Delhi

Posted on 29 October 2007 by andyq


Our impressions of a place are circumstantial. Even if one visits a site many times or ends up living there, it is a unique perspective based on opportunity and chance, and how one sees the world. After almost 9 years in Sydney, I know my vision of Sydney is particular based on the neighbourhoods I’ve lived in, the life I’ve lead.

So, my snapshot of Delhi will be even more subjective as it’s only my second trip here. But already, I’m delighted. The first trip was at short notice. If I recall correctly, I flew the morning of Sydney’s Mardi Gras party, leaving the showgrounds at about 4am, was it? I arrived, after a long flight (probably going through Thailand, it would have been about 8 hours, a layover, and another 5 hours to here), and rather than being swept into the throng and madness which friends had described, it was strangely quiet at the airport. I found a taxi easily enough. We drove through areas that seemed little inhabited, I couldn’t see the signs of a city. And was left at the YWCA, not without effort, on a wide road with little sign of life. I checked in, my first time in India, knowing nothing about the city, having no idea where I was and no one who’d met me or offered any advice or welcome. The meeting that followed went well enough. A kind Australian colleague showed me around the old city on my last day, and I also saw the amazing Taj Mahal. But I certainly wasn’t charmed.

I’ve only been here now on my second trip for less than 12 hours, but I’m charmed and relieved. The hotel picked me up and dropped me off, a quiet night at the airport and a quiet drive, similar to my first trip. The hotel is located is an area called PVC Sakhet, and its lobby backs onto a bustling piazza (if I can call it that) with shops and restaurants, a 24 grocery store where I bought juice and samosa at midnight, a cinema, and even a MacDonalds (serving some very interesting looking local specialties) and a Sbarro. My hotel room is modern and beautiful, the fake flowers are rather nice, the TV has a few dozen stations, and everything is relatively functional. I’ll need to borrow a convertor plug (I’m sure I bought one on a previous Indian trip but didn’t find it when packing). There’s no safe. And I had to tilt the refrigerator on to its back legs to open the door in the too tight cupboard in which its been placed.

But life is good. And I hope that my 3 days of meeting (and 1 day of rest and shopping) will go well, and that Delhi will be kind to me, as I will try to be kinder to Delhi.

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Blood Red Eclipse?

Posted on 7 September 2007 by andyq


So, the blood red eclipse was on the front page of all the papers here… It was visible from early in the evening for a few hours, and it was apparently spectacular.

It was a great view of it with clear skies on a bright warm summery night, and it only comes around every 10 years or so.

Sadly, I missed it. I was preparing dinner for my friend Penny and there wasn’t an easy place from my apartment to go and see it, so I was lazy and stayed in, and then regretted it after, since those who saw it said it was really really beautiful.

So, perhaps you’ve gathered that these are not, in fact, photos of the eclipse. What is it, for god’s sake? Here’s a clue…

(Really, the truth is whenever I get an idea for a blog or an e-mail, I’ve always forgotten the first step. If I want to show the difference between before and after, I have to remember to take the “before” shot.

Sigh.)

So, when I was sixteen, my college friend Trish told me, “that wart on your thumb, you should get it looked at. They could be contagious.” I’d never really thought about what this bump on my thumb was. It had been around for a while, I remembered that, but I never thought of trying to figure out what it was or get rid of it. A wart? Bleh. At the time, in the late 80s, the only thing they sold in pharmacies was a wart remover solution. I bought some and tried it, and it didn’t seem to do anything. Perhaps it wore away a layer of skin or two.

After that, I gave up for a while. If it grew, I would gnaw or peel it down, but otherwise, let it rest. After coming to Australia in 1999, I do remember asking my doctor about it. He brought out liquid nitrogen from the freezer which made a satisfying sizzle on my skin as the applicator pressed against my wart. It seemed to have more effect but not a lot, and I thought that paying $50 per visit and uncertain success was not so appealing.

Last year, I turned my thoughts to it again. Technology must have changed. And indeed it had. Pharmacies now sell a home-kit, similar to liquid nitrogen. I tried it out, and my wart noticeably reduced, layer by layer. But not completely. After a few months of this, my friend Tim recommended the bright blue podophylotoxin liquid, which also seemed to work, somewhat, but not completely.

After trying for 3 or 4 months, my doctor boyfriend said: why don’t I just cut it off for you? My regular doctor was rather against this solution when I casually mentioned it to him during a check-up.

Time flies. We never found time to do it. Until today. It came out in a perfect little intact form, a round blood moon, which by the time I got home to take these photos was rather flattened out. I think it’s kind of pretty, don’t you?

I find it kind of amazing that I don’t have it anymore, after about 20 years.

I’m quite interested to see the little divot in my thumb after I get to take off my bandage tomorrow. In the meantime, I wrote a p oem earlier this year. About my wart. Which is a good way to link this slightly offbeat blog entry to what this blog is supposed to be about. Writing.


Wart


Rubbed a frog the wrong way, I reckon

only noticed when Trish beckoned,

right-side, top of my thumb joint,

where she pointed,

told me they’re contagious.

I watched salicylic acid wear off its thin pages,

asked various doctors to get from their dens

supplies of liquid nitrogen

it burnt into my skin, a satisfying hiss

but would still not desist

turned towards another wind

ignored it as its cells thickened

through my twenties and beyond.

Last year, I found a chemist’s wand

technology finally caught up with me

do-it-yourself cryotherapy

I froze off layer after layer

settled into a drawn-out guerre

and painted it with podophyllotoxin

its primary use on vaginas and cocks, an

eye-catching brilliant royal blue

not something you’d want to admit to

recognizing. I know it’s pure fancy

but I expect magic if this dance, she

ends. Two times ten years or longer

this extra button sewn onto my finger

unfasten it, I shed my pale grey tunic

become princely, the opposite of eunuch.

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Experimenting with Blogging – Learning about Home Design

Posted on 5 August 2007 by andyq

I just wanted to see how photos look on a blog entry. So, what if I was to show you my bedroom, and the first design decision, to place the bed against the backwall?

And then, inspired by my pal Daniel’s redesign and declutter of my front room, I realised that while it made “sense” to put the bed there – since there were powerpoints on each side of the bed, convenient for bedside lamps and such – that having the bed in this position didn’t allow me to take advantage of possibly the best feature of the room, the view! Lying in bed, I couldn’t look out the window at the lovely city view. But I discovered something better, which was that by moving the bed against the other wall, there was somehow a lot more room in the bedroom, and that it opened the view down the hallway. Instead of seeing the bed and the other crap, I could make it clear and open! Also, helped by putting laundry baskets in the closet, getting rid of milk crates and generally tidying. But it looks much better, don’t you think?

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It’s coming, it’s coming.

Posted on 4 August 2007 by andyq

I’m back in my neighbourhood after nearly two months of travelling – at least that’s what it feels like. The preparation for a long voyage consumes the days before, the week after my 5 week trip to Canada, Hawaii and Europe was only unpacking and repacking for a 5 day work trip to Bangkok. Now, I’m back for two weeks, before I’m off to an AIDS conference in Colombo, and though it’s a short time, it feels relatively long, compared to what I’ve just been through!

Just before this last trip I received the catalogue for Signature Editions from Winnipeg, Canada. A full page to promote my new book of poetry coming out in November: Bowling Pin Fire. I’m so pleased. All that hard work editing it with John in the last few months and it’s really, truly coming out. I’ve had minimal contact with the publisher so I’m still curious whether what the latest draft of the cover looks like, and more details about distribution and promotion, but yay: it’s coming, it’s coming, it’s coming.

At my Pearson Reunion, a dear friend, Douglas, commented that sometimes being an artist is just being around for long enough. “Oh no, I’m sorry, that sounds horrible, I didn’t mean that to be insulting,” he apologised right after. But I knew what he was saying: experience, longevity (which, for some reason, I pronounced as long-e-tivity for the first 30 years of my life), and perserverance pay off. Also, that age brings wisdom, hopefully better skills, and an awareness of how your art fits into the greater world, artistic or mainstream.

Right now, I’m riding high. Not only is the poetry book coming out, but I’ve been asked to be guest editor for the AIDS Project of Los Angeles’ creative journal, Corpus. It’s an exciting project and I like the guy I’m working with on it already! And in the last few months, I’ve met two interesting young Asian-American men who’d found my work on the internet, and requested to meet me while passing through Sydney (one from San Francisco, the other from Auckland). It’s good to meet a new generation of artists and thinkers, to discuss ideas, to be honoured that they’ve connected with something in my work or writing that prompted them to want to meet me, and to ponder changes in the world.

Young referred to an anthology of Asian-Canadian gay writing called Rice, which my piece had been pulled from at the last minute (by the editor, one of my first experiences with flaky and idiotic editors), and I thought about how exciting it was to start writing at that time: the age of gay anthologies and when identity politics were still about how to treat each other more kindly. And how the world has changed since then: the progress in gay and lesbian rights, visibility of Asians in media, more diverse gay and lesbian communities. Ah, it makes the heart glad. The curmudgeons that long for the good old days. The cynics that say things never change. But I’ve been through a social movement that has seen change for the better. As Homer Simpson would say, Woohoo. As the Spartans would say in the movie “300”, Hawoo.

Posted in Bowling Pin Fire, Poetry, Writing | Leave a comment

Dreams that are out of date

Posted on 28 July 2007 by andyq

I wake. The sheets are perfectly white. The mattress is hard. The air conditioning is on and noisy – but the room is a comfortable temperature. Hot sunlight creeps through the closed blinds, as does sounds of construction.

I’m in Bangkok, again, my third time this year. I have an hour before day two of my meeting starts. I seemed to have one long set of dreams this morning, a cohesive story. First was the recurring theme of finding a piano. It’s what I used to do in university years, whether at my own university or at a friend’s. Find the music building or a student residence and see if there was a beautiful piano to play on. A well-kept quality upright would do – a Yamaha perhaps – but a baby grand. Or a real grand piano! And then of course, it would depend on the space. Would it be hidden in a music practice room: great for privacy though, as a non-music student, would I be caught using it? Or would it be in a public space – likely to have much better acoustics, the notes allowed to travel up and reach a high ceiling – but the gambit of disturbing whoever was in hearing distance, particularly if I wanted to sing.

In my dreams, I am often in schools or buildings, and the pianos are always in the basement, sometimes up against walls or surrounded by furniture, or off in hidden rooms. This dream, I was in my elementary school in Vancouver, and I was successful, I found a piano to play. I was to perform, and was practicing “Strength” which was generally going OK though the bridge was unfamiliar.

It was a going away party for the younger sister of a friend – someone friendly – it was someone similar to C, the young niece of D, who I met in London, and she was going abroad for a while – hence the choice of the song. Strength needed to experience living overseas.

However, a main part of the dream was getting the idea for a wonderful comic song about accepting a gay brother. It was funny and feisty, a classic piece of musical theatre, with a set-up and then surprise, witty lyrics, and music which wasn’t clever enough to detract from the main story. It was heart-warming and a little rebellious and as first envisioned was a masterpiece. Somehow in the attempts to get away and write that song (having scribbled parts of lyrics on paper), I realized how out of date it was. Whether in England or Canada, the strides we’ve made in gay rights – including marriage or almost-marriage, and all the grand part of the population that I would socialize with – would find prejudice against someone, just because they’re gay, as old-fashioned and conservative.

How nice to wake up and find out not that my dream was unreachable, but that it was terribly out-of-date.

In the meantime, it’s been a million years since I’ve written on this blog. I’ve been away for 31 days of travel (North America and Europe, both personal and business), and was back only 4 days before coming to this current trip. Organising the travel beforehand was also busy. Life seems to be too busy these days to record, though not having the means to do so – i.e. easy computer access, is also an issue. Yet my writing career progresses nicely. I received the current catalogue for Signature Press which profiles my upcoming book of poetry, Bowling Pin Fire. That put a skip in my step the evening I received it, after a flat, hard day of work. I’m excited about being invited to be guest editor for Corpus, a literary magazine coming out of AIDS Project Los Angeles. I’m worried about finding the time to do it – though I know I will. The travel schedule until the end of the year is going to be intense.

Final thoughts that should really go in my journal blog but haven’t I always been too personal, too open? My back is slowly healing, though this time it’s taking a while. Today would be day 7. I’m still leaning over to the left, and it hurts to sit down in the same position too long. The oil massage helped somewhat last night, and the hotel bed is helping I think, but it’s hard and tiring when the body goes awry.

Meanwhile, I’ve been sleeping between 8 and 10 hours of sleep since coming back from the long trip. My body obviously needs it. And I still have a slight cough. Could be exacerbated by Bangkok’s pollution, but I am very tired of this cold/cough/sore throat that has been with me since my first week of travelling (probably since 25 June). Not drinking alcohol or coffee for a week may be helping…Enough complaining! Time to meditate, eat and get down to the meeting, hoping that my laptop will work today, despite its intermittent power problems yesterday.

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